Divorce Advice…
When you’re coping with a divorce, your friends and family—and your divorce attorney—will have a lot of divorce advice to give. Some of it will be really good, and some of it will be unfortunate. How to decipher between the two?
Follow the advice that not only resonates with you, but is aligned with your long term goals. Follow the advice that is non-reactionary and that if you execute, you will be proud of your decision one day, one month, and one year from now. Remember, you are in control and these decisions remain in your hands. Often our friends and family assume that in this time of pain, we are incapable of making decisions. Take your control back and decide what is best for you.
Check the Source of the Divorce Advice
Unfortunately, advice is not always impartial. Advice may represent the residual pain of someone who still needs validation for how they managed their situation. Often this is a subconsious act that is done with no malintention. And sometimes—unfortunately—people are not speaking from experience and, thus, cannot offer the highest quality advice. Then there are your friends who see you in pain and will tell you what may want to hear at the time; however, you need friends and family that are looking out for your best interests as opposed to gently handling your temporary mental state.
Tip! If you’ve ever followed the advice of friends who recommended you call this mechanic, read this book, try this diet, or avoid this restaurant, then you already appreciate the power of divorce advice. But when you’re in the midst of thinking about a divorce, obtaining a divorce, or recovering from a divorce, advice about what to do can have significant consequences on your future and on the future of your ex and your families. A short haircut will grow out, a new mechanic can be found. But a scorched earth policy needs decades to recover, and hasty decisions are often regretted. It’s important to be careful here!
All that being said, there are people out there whose divorce advice is a treasure, which you should not ignore. People who not only want what’s best for you—as so many people in your life do—but who understand the power of advice and so they offer it wisely. These are the people who will tell you to forgive yourself and ignore the inner critic who says, “This is all your fault, you know.” They will tell you to trust your own instincts. Be true to yourself. Move on. Forgive. Do the best you can. And perhaps the best advice of all: Don’t forget to call me if you need me. That’s advice worth listening to; that’s the kind of advice you can rely on.
This is your time to be very selfish and do what is in your best interests. Choose your advisors who provide you divorce advice carefully and always remember that advice whether good or just well intentioned, comes from a place of love.
You must log in to post a comment.