Divorce Support: Guilt Be Gone

by Amelie on June 28, 2010

When we think about marriage, we think about happily ever after. We think about how beautiful a union of souls is, and how great it is to be blessed by such a wonderful marriage. We think about a happy family, shared responsibilities, and mutual love. We think about the promise of forever, and growing old together, and all the dreams two people could possibly share with each other. Unfortunately, marriages do not always end up that way. Marriages do not always last until forever, and the two people involved in a marriage may start growing apart and may start to want different things. In some cases, partners cannot stand to live with the other anymore, so they ask for a divorce.

If you are going through a divorce, planning to get a divorce, or are recovering from a divorce, you must remember one very important piece of divorce advice: release guilt feelings. First of all you must realize that this is not entirely your fault. Obviously, the both of you have had faults in the past, and you might feel guilty about not making it working, and maybe not even wanting to make it work as much as you should have; but when it all comes down to it, the top reason why couple want to get a divorce is still incompatibility. And incompatibility is something that no one can do anything about. So after you go on with your horrendously ugly divorce, remember to release guilt feelings totally.

Incompatibility will just hold you down and prevent you from moving forward. It will prevent you from starting a new life with a possible new partner. It might prevent you from enjoying life as a single person, it might prevent you from exploring new job opportunities, or it might even prevent you from wanting to live life at its fullest. The truth is, after a divorce, especially a divorce you initiated, guilt may eat you up, and you should not let that happen.

You must realize that divorce is simply an official ending to a marriage that was not working. If you stayed longer or if your partnered was forced to stay longer, you may not only lose your love for each other, but you might even start losing respect for one another and that is truly one of things that could happen between two people; especially people who used to love each other completely and sincerely. So if you really want to move on and truly take life by its horns, you have to learn how to just breathe and release guilt feelings you have. It will not help you in any form or way, so why hold on to it?

What you could do however, is to start looking at your life after divorce as a new beginning, a new chapter in the book of your life, a new lap in the race, a new frontier. Think of this new stage in your life as an opportunity to truly make something out of your life. If you have a dream that you were afraid to conquer, then now is the perfect time to do it. Think of it positively. Now, you do not have to be held down by people telling you to do stuff you do not want to or preventing you from doing stuff you want to do.

If you feel like you need divorce support, look on to your family and friends. They will always be there for you. If not, you could always find some online divorce support. Some people think this is such a desperate move but it is actually quite helpful. These online divorce support groups are actually made up of people who have gone through or are going through divorce, and they have a lot of stories to tell and tips to give.

Remember, you cannot move on and make something great with your life if you have not managed to let go of your past yet. Unfortunately, having strong guilty feelings towards your divorce will just hold you back as it obviously reminds you so much of your past relationship and how you ended it. Until you have actually learned how to let go of your past, no amount of passion for change will be able to help you.

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