Divorce Support
Once a divorce is imminent, it is time to begin gathering your energy and both your physical and emotional reserves in preparation for the demands that await you on the near horizon. Going through any kind of personal loss or radical life change is challenging, but keep one truth in mind: you were born with the inner strenght to overcome this heartache and move towards a better, brighter future.
Perhaps the divorce you’re facing is especially difficult and you already know you’re going to need to muster extra energy to endure it. Maybe it’s a rather amicable and hassle-free break-up, and you think perhaps it will all turn out somewhat uneventful. But even if it is going to be a relatively smooth and easy divorce, it still represents a gigantic lifestyle shift. The fact is that no matter what kind of divorce yours is, this is a time of extreme transition– and big changes require more strength and greater endurance. So finding and bolstering your strength before you find yourself in the middle of this shifting personal landscape is a smart plan of action.
Stress depletes mental and physical energy, and when you are in a weakened state it compromises your immune system and your ability to cope. Divorce involves the stress of grief and separation. It includes the stress of moving into a new home or at least adjusting to life in the same house without the same lifestyle you had when you were married. It can mean losing contact with children. Maybe you’ll lose friends that you shared with your spouse but will not continue to befriend after the divorce. You may have to accept a loss of income at a time when you also incur legal fees, moving expenses, or higher taxes. So your finances will be tighter, and that brings about a whole different set of stressors. Accept the idea that you need to get ready and start taking steps now rather than procrastinating. Don’t risking getting run down, sick, or depressed in the midst of this significant event. Ready yourself to be strong, resilient, healthy, and energetic. That way a potentially harsh phase of life can become transformative in a liberating and empowering way.
Specific Divorce Support Advice
To prepare yourself, start by making a list of potential weak areas. Maybe one is loneliness that you anticipate feeling after the divorce, for example, so once you’ve listed it make a plan to overcome it. Create a list of friends you can spend more time with, for instance, or groups and classes you can join for more social interaction.
Feelings of mild depression can sometimes be offset by physical exercise because exercise releases endorphins and other chemicals that make us feel better. So if you that shows up on your list consider going to the gym, working with a personal trainer, taking a yoga class, or finding a jogging or walking partner.
Regular exercise and eating right makes us look better, so that is also a great strategy for dealing with low self esteem related to body issues. Change up your look not because getting a makeover will ease your pain, but because the change will minimize subconscious pain triggers. Change your dress, your walls, your route to work, and anything else you can think of.
If the prospect of financial challenges haunts you, then take free workshops about managing your credit score, attend evening classes at the local community college to learn about investing, or sit down and chat with a financial or tax planner who can give you solid advice and more confidence.
Divorcees deal with lots of different emotional, psychological, and social changes and challenges – and it can often help a tremendous amount to have a qualified therapist to speak with about whatever’s on your mind. Maybe a friend or colleague has had a great experience with a particular therapist or mode of therapy. You don’t have to make a commitment or spend any money just to get a few names and business cards, but having that research done can give you a feeling of added support. If you later hit a slump and need to talk things over in confidence with someone who can help you sort it all out while giving you some practical tips, you’ll know the name of a good therapist.
No matter what area of your life might need a boost, there are people and resources to make it happen. Attending to the business of preparing to be strong also keeps you busy and engages your mind. That, in turn, helps you stay focused which usually means you avoid unnecessary worry. Feeling stronger and more confident and self-assured is always wonderful, and it pays dividends any time we do it.
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