<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>Divorcesupportandadvice.com Blogs</title>
	<atom:link href="http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com</link>
	<description>Divorce Advice &#38; Divorce Support From Those Who Understand Divorce.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Wed, 18 Aug 2010 11:36:03 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2</generator>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
			<item>
		<title>When Your Ex Starts Dating</title>
		<link>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/when-your-ex-starts-dating</link>
		<comments>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/when-your-ex-starts-dating#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Aug 2010 11:36:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Amelie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[After Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coping with divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce support]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming jealousy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/?p=199</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Getting over a divorce is definitely a very difficult task. It requires a lot of effort and really good guidance and divorce advice, and it also takes up a lot of your precious time. Now, most people recover from a divorce in a couple of months. They say that the process of getting a divorce is [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p>Getting over a divorce is definitely a very difficult task. It requires a lot of effort and really good guidance and divorce advice, and it also takes up a lot of your precious time. Now, most people recover from a divorce in a couple of months. They say that the process of getting a divorce is definitely tough on them, emotionally, but the process of actually recovering from the divorce is much harder. After a person gets divorced, a lot of things happen to him or to her. <strong>Divorces have to cope with the changes that divorce brings.</strong> They need to start living alone, or with their kids, without a partner. They start fending for themselves and they start needing more outside help to maintain the family and the household. Obviously, after several months, divorces would have already adjusted to the changes that divorce brings. However, there is one thing that divorces abhor; and that is the day they actually discover that their ex partners now have started dating again.</p>
<p>Obviously, this is a really sensitive matter. It is not easy to know that the person you were willing to spend your whole life with is now dating someone else. It is also quite a sensitive situation because neither of the ex partners seem to know what the best time to start dating again is; they do not know whom should start dating first and if they have to tell the other one. Regardless of these things, <strong>the fact that you ex spouse is now dating is enough to let you go through another emotional rollercoaster. </strong>So how do you deal with overcoming jealousy?</p>
<p>Well, overcoming jealousy, as with most things <strong>involves the process of acceptance.</strong> If you truly want to deal with your jealousy, you must accept that your feelings are normal and these do not automatically mean that you still have feelings for your ex partner. Usually, what happens is that you feel like you own your partner while you are still married; you feel like you have the power to tell him or her on what to do and what not to do. Seeing him or her date another person, especially without your knowledge or permission, is akin to losing your power over someone. You must understand that <strong>you do not “own” the person anymore</strong> and distinguish whether your feelings are of ownership or of love.</p>
<p>If you really have a tough time overcoming jealousy, then simply remember why you parted ways. This is probably the fastest way to realize that there is nothing to be jealous about. If you got a divorce, then there is obviously something wrong. You had your ex partner before and it did not work out; do not romanticize your relationship and think of all the good times. <strong>Be very fair when looking back on your relationship as this is the only way to help yourself in overcoming jealousy.</strong> It is also advised that you list down all the reasons why your marriage did not work out to help you remember why you do not want a relationship with your former partner anymore.</p>
<p>Finally, <strong>never compare yourself with your former partner’s new partner.</strong> This is probably the biggest mistake people commit when they discover that their partners have now started dating new people. This is just a waste of time and will stall you from overcoming jealousy. Comparing yourself with the new guy or girl may bruise your ego and even start to let you feel inferior and liable for your failed marriage. Do not waste time in thinking of such things. Instead, <strong>move on and start dating yourself</strong>, when and if you are ready.</p>
<p><a class="a2a_dd addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save?linkurl=http%3A%2F%2Fdivorcesupportandadvice.com%2Fwhen-your-ex-starts-dating&amp;linkname=When%20Your%20Ex%20Starts%20Dating"><img src="http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_171_16.png" width="171" height="16" alt="Share/Bookmark"/></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/when-your-ex-starts-dating/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Divorce Advice: 5 Essential Tips to Heal a Broken Heart</title>
		<link>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-advice-6-essential-tips-to-heal-a-broken-heart</link>
		<comments>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-advice-6-essential-tips-to-heal-a-broken-heart#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 30 Jun 2010 17:25:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Amelie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[After Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mend A Broken Heart]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coping with divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce support]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Heal A Broken Heart]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/?p=180</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Some divorce advice that will help you start to heal your broken heart:

Take time to take things in. Do not      pressure yourself to move on or to be okay. Cry. Mourn. Scream. Stare into      nothingness. Breathe. The pangs of divorce are hardest when it’s still [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p>Some divorce advice that will help you start to heal your broken heart:</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Take time to take things in.</strong> Do not      pressure yourself to move on or to be okay. Cry. Mourn. Scream. Stare into      nothingness. Breathe. The pangs of divorce are hardest when it’s still so      fresh that is why at the time frame of perhaps Day 1 til a month, perhaps,      you have the permission to give yourself some time to take things in. It’s      perfectly alright. Remind yourself      that you’re only human. You have the right to be hurt and to show the      people so. The best thing you can do the when the post-divorce common      sense arrives is to have a “move forward” mantra to help you recover. A      simple “everything falls into their right places” or “this too, shall      pass” can help a lot to heal a broken heart.</li>
<li><strong>Reach out.</strong> Don’t close yourself to      the rest of the world. Sure you may be strong but even Superman needs help      sometimes. Don’t close out on some very helpful divorce advice. You won’t      know when you’re going to get them or from whom! Share your thoughts and      your feelings with people who are willing to listen. And go out of your      room once in a while. Don’t be stuck in the black hole of sorrow. Be gentle on yourself.</li>
<li><strong>Learn from it.</strong> After everything      that you’ve been through, will you just sit and feel like a loser and mourn?      Of course not<strong>. </strong>Take some healthy      me-tim<strong>e</strong> to assess things and think it through. What are the things in      your marriage which were wrong from the start? What are the things that      you always thought to be unchangeable and wrong with your (ex) partner?      What were the wonderful things that you missed out on when you were      married? Thinking about these things helps you get over faster.</li>
<li><strong>Socialize.</strong> More than reaching out,      actually socialize and stop being uptight. People may give you unsolicited      divorce advice or may want to talk about it when you least want to (annoying      isn’t it?) but strategize a great way to get over the conversation and      switch it into something which is more worthy of your time. Consider<strong> </strong>trying out new things, going to new places and meeting new people. Actually open up for a fresh      start.</li>
<li><strong>Be honest with yourself.</strong> There may      be times when you want to talk to your ex again or you’d want to badmouth      him/ her to other people just to get sympathy. But really, this is not the      way to go. At the end of the day, when it’s just you and the truth, you’ll      be back to feeling rotten.</li>
</ol>
<p><a class="a2a_dd addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save?linkurl=http%3A%2F%2Fdivorcesupportandadvice.com%2Fdivorce-advice-6-essential-tips-to-heal-a-broken-heart&amp;linkname=Divorce%20Advice%3A%205%20Essential%20Tips%20to%20Heal%20a%20Broken%20Heart"><img src="http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_171_16.png" width="171" height="16" alt="Share/Bookmark"/></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-advice-6-essential-tips-to-heal-a-broken-heart/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Divorce Support: Guilt Be Gone</title>
		<link>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-support-guilt-be-gone</link>
		<comments>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-support-guilt-be-gone#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 28 Jun 2010 11:39:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Amelie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[After Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coping with divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce support]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[online divorce support]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[release guilt]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/?p=187</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When we think about marriage, we think about happily ever after. We think about how beautiful a union of souls is, and how great it is to be blessed by such a wonderful marriage. We think about a happy family, shared responsibilities, and mutual love. We think about the promise of forever, and growing old [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p>When we think about marriage, we think about happily ever after. We think about how beautiful a union of souls is, and how great it is to be blessed by such a wonderful marriage. We think about a happy family, shared responsibilities, and mutual love. We think about the promise of forever, and growing old together, and all the dreams two people could possibly share with each other. Unfortunately, marriages do not always end up that way. Marriages do not always last until forever, and the two people involved in a marriage may start growing apart and may start to want different things. In some cases, partners cannot stand to live with the other anymore, so they ask for a divorce.</p>
<p>If you are going through a divorce, planning to get a divorce, or are recovering from a divorce, you must remember one very important piece of <strong>divorce advice</strong>: release guilt feelings. First of all you must realize that this is not entirely your fault. Obviously, the both of you have had faults in the past, and you might feel guilty about not making it working, and maybe not even wanting to make it work as much as you should have; but when it all comes down to it, the top reason why couple want to get a divorce is still incompatibility. And incompatibility is something that no one can do anything about. So after you go on with your horrendously ugly divorce, remember to release guilt feelings totally.</p>
<p>Incompatibility will just hold you down and prevent you from moving forward. It will prevent you from starting a new life with a possible new partner. It might prevent you from enjoying life as a single person, it might prevent you from exploring new job opportunities, or it might even prevent you from wanting to live life at its fullest. The truth is, after a divorce, especially a divorce you initiated, guilt may eat you up, and you should not let that happen.</p>
<p>You must realize that divorce is simply an official ending to a marriage that was not working. If you stayed longer or if your partnered was forced to stay longer, you may not only lose your love for each other, but you might even start losing respect for one another and that is truly one of things that could happen between two people; especially people who used to love each other completely and sincerely. So if you really want to move on and truly take life by its horns, you have to learn how to just breathe and release guilt feelings you have. It will not help you in any form or way, so why hold on to it?</p>
<p>What you could do however, is to start looking at your life after divorce as a new beginning, a new chapter in the book of your life, a new lap in the race, a new frontier. Think of this new stage in your life as an opportunity to truly make something out of your life. If you have a dream that you were afraid to conquer, then now is the perfect time to do it. Think of it positively. Now, you do not have to be held down by people telling you to do stuff you do not want to or preventing you from doing stuff you want to do.</p>
<p>If you feel like you need divorce support, look on to your family and friends. They will always be there for you. If not, you could always find some online divorce support. Some people think this is such a desperate move but it is actually quite helpful. These online divorce support groups are actually made up of people who have gone through or are going through divorce, and they have a lot of stories to tell and tips to give.</p>
<p>Remember, you cannot move on and make something great with your life if you have not managed to let go of your past yet. Unfortunately, having strong guilty feelings towards your divorce will just hold you back as it obviously reminds you so much of your past relationship and how you ended it. Until you have actually learned how to let go of your past, no amount of passion for change will be able to help you.</p>
<p><a class="a2a_dd addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save?linkurl=http%3A%2F%2Fdivorcesupportandadvice.com%2Fdivorce-support-guilt-be-gone&amp;linkname=Divorce%20Support%3A%20Guilt%20Be%20Gone"><img src="http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_171_16.png" width="171" height="16" alt="Share/Bookmark"/></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-support-guilt-be-gone/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Divorce Advice: Relieve Anxiety During the Divorce Process</title>
		<link>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-advice-relieve-anxiety-during-the-divorce-process</link>
		<comments>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-advice-relieve-anxiety-during-the-divorce-process#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 23 Jun 2010 16:22:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Amelie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[During Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coping with divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce support]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cure panic attacks]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/?p=192</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Marriage is ideally all rainbows and butterflies, the perfect story book ending to a love story. It is supposed to be wonderfully joyous and grand, filled with sweet quips and heartwarming anecdotes. However, when it ends, and it ends badly, like by a divorce, then the story seems to be flipped over to the back [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p>Marriage is ideally all rainbows and butterflies, the perfect story book ending to a love story. It is supposed to be wonderfully joyous and grand, filled with sweet quips and heartwarming anecdotes. However, when it ends, and it ends badly, like by a divorce, then the story seems to be flipped over to the back side, and everything starts to become ugly.</p>
<p><strong>Going through the process of divorce is never an easy thing. </strong>It is very stressful and definitely takes up a lot of time, energy, effort, and money. So it does not come as a surprise that people often get stressed out and have panic attacks or anxiety attacks while undergoing the process of divorce. Fortunately, there are a couple of ways to help you forget about, or manage, the stress and anxiety brought about by going through the process of divorce</p>
<p><strong>One way of curbing your stress levels is finding someone to talk to;</strong> somebody who understands how it feels like to go through a divorce. You may ask a friend or a family member who has already gone through a divorce to walk you through this whole process. Ask them for advice on how to keep sane, and how not to go overboard with your ideas on how your future as a single person will turn out.</p>
<p>Having somebody to talk to is very beneficial because you get to vent out your ideas and the way you feel. Also, actually finding a friend or relative who knows exactly what it feels like to get a divorce will help you feel more comfortable with sharing your problems and worries because you will not have to worry about them judging you and your failed marriage.</p>
<p><strong>Another way to relieve your anxiety is to find a sport or hobby that allows you to release your aggression</strong>. Active contact sports like boxing is a very good way to de-stress while making you feel good about yourself. Exercise helps you release endorphins, which gives you a feeling of being happy and satisfied, so this is sure to keep you less stressed out. Even the classic <strong>yoga helps a lot in regaining your peace of mind </strong>and keeping you in shape at the same time. Plus, because you are able to release your aggression and anger, you will not have to worry about all that pent up anger you have inside you. Truly, this is one of the best ways to feel good about yourself while avoiding an anxiety or panic attack. Sometimes, everything gets too overwhelming, but a little box and kick could be the perfect thing to get you right back on track.</p>
<p><strong>Another way you could help relieve anxiety or panic attacks is by using aromatherapy.</strong> You may try a lot of different combinations of flowers and herbs, but here are some examples of the most popular ones:</p>
<ul>
<li>Valerian      root has been used for years and years now to aid in relieving anxiety and      even inducing sleep.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Chamomile      is also a good downer, in that it relaxes your body, which then helps to      affect your mind. This is effective especially when taken as a tea. It      smells good too!</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Passion      flower is also one of the most popular herbs to use to fight anxiety. It      has actually been proven to be safe and effective as an anti anxiety      medication.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Lemon      Balm is another herb that is popular for reliving anxiety especially when      used in conjunction with other relaxing herbs.</li>
</ul>
<p>There are a lot more herbs you can try. It is just a matter of believing in their efficiency and knowing which herbs work best for you.</p>
<p>Some other ways to help you fight anxiety and stress are much simpler than you think. A good aromatherapy massage is highly advisable, and so is an anti-stress acupuncture session. You may also try bioelectric therapy, polarity therapy, and color therapy.</p>
<p>However, <strong>the best thing you could do to help yourself fight stress is to let go of things and realize that there are just some things that you cannot control</strong>. Do not forget that you are human and you are allowed to commit mistakes. Simply move on and try to forget about your horrible past. You have to move forward and gear up for the things ahead of you. Perhaps it’s a career, a group of friends or some people you’ve been missing for some time. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s the old beautiful and once-hopeful pre-stressed you.</p>
<p><a class="a2a_dd addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save?linkurl=http%3A%2F%2Fdivorcesupportandadvice.com%2Fdivorce-advice-relieve-anxiety-during-the-divorce-process&amp;linkname=Divorce%20Advice%3A%20Relieve%20Anxiety%20During%20the%20Divorce%20Process"><img src="http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_171_16.png" width="171" height="16" alt="Share/Bookmark"/></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-advice-relieve-anxiety-during-the-divorce-process/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Divorce Support: Moving Out of Your House</title>
		<link>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-support-moving-out-of-your-house</link>
		<comments>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-support-moving-out-of-your-house#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jun 2010 18:06:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Amelie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[After Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coping with divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce support]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moving after divorce]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/?p=201</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The first time that you look around your home post-divorce and sense that something is missing, you feel an unexplainable sense of sorrow and emptiness, that even if the place is full and robust, it doesn’t feel cozy anymore. Then you begin to walk around it and then you realize that it slowly loses its [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p>The first time that you look around your home post-divorce and sense that something is missing, you feel an unexplainable sense of sorrow and emptiness, that even if the place is full and robust, it doesn’t feel cozy anymore. Then you begin to walk around it and then you realize that it slowly loses its value to you.</p>
<p>If a few months have passed and you still are living in your home and you can’t bear the emptiness you feel while you’re in it, then, by all means, leave. At first, you might think that you will be wasting what you have worked so hard for together, but really<strong>, you don’t have to subject yourself to haunting memories for the days post-divorce</strong>.</p>
<p>The first thing that you’ve to accomplish when you decide to do the moving after divorce is to <strong>treat it as a goal. </strong>You have to have a target time, projected budget, an inventory of the things that you will bring with you and of course, a positive disposition. Now, working on the disposition part might not be easy but you’ll cope.</p>
<p>After that, talk to a close friend about this plan and ask to be helped. <strong>Friendly divorce advice helps a lot</strong> at this point. The battle is easier when you have someone to fight it with. Schedule a serious talk with a friend you really trust and then lay out your plans. Ask for his/ her opinions about the goals you have in mind and ask for his/ her guidance and support. At this point, you should still <strong>be open to changes</strong> (yes, even if they don’t match your previous “goals”) because it’s nice to see your plans from another perspective also. In this instance, it’s your friend’s perspective. At least it’s a perspective you trust.</p>
<p>If you think that one friend is not enough, you can move further with a support team, who will help you build your life again, starting from the physical pieces of evidence, like having a totally new apartment with new things, new neighborhood and a slight change in lifestyle. This <strong>support team will help you in getting to the kinds of divorce advice which you can use the most.</strong></p>
<p>It is <strong>best to inform your partner of your plans but do not get into specifics.</strong> (But this is totally your call.) If your goal is really to detach, then just keep your plans to yourself first. I mean, you don’t want your ex-husband to suddenly come in your housewarming and introduce his new girl there, do you?</p>
<p>If you have kids, moving after divorce might be more difficult. In fact, you might not consider moving out of the house at all! Now that you have built a family and the kids also have their own “home”, you must put their welfare first and try to work it out…even if you might have to put up with a few awkward moments. BUT if you and your partner deem it best that one of you has to go, then be sure that you have agreed on the custody of the children. As much as possible, <strong>spare the children from the complications of your divorce and just move out of the house as peacefully as you can</strong>.</p>
<p>Moving after divorce is not an easy feat. So get as much divorce advice as you can from people you trust and <strong>don’t make hasty decisions</strong>. Moreover, do not forget that you also have to <strong>be financially ready </strong>for this. Save up for the new place and at least be sure that you’ll be getting a steady fund coming. Strengthen your support team, read a lot of self-help (the kinds that work for you) and most of all, be positive.</p>
<p><a class="a2a_dd addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save?linkurl=http%3A%2F%2Fdivorcesupportandadvice.com%2Fdivorce-support-moving-out-of-your-house&amp;linkname=Divorce%20Support%3A%20Moving%20Out%20of%20Your%20House"><img src="http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_171_16.png" width="171" height="16" alt="Share/Bookmark"/></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-support-moving-out-of-your-house/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Divorce Advice: The Silver Lining in Divorce?</title>
		<link>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-advice-the-silver-lining-in-divorce</link>
		<comments>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-advice-the-silver-lining-in-divorce#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 Jun 2010 15:27:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Amelie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Getting A Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coping with divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce support]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[positive thinking]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/?p=197</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A lot of people say that divorce is one of the most painful things that can ever happen to you. Most of them even believe that divorce is, in all angles, ugly. However, no matter how painful it is or how messy it may be for some circumstances, it also brings out five very crucial [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p>A lot of people say that divorce is one of the most painful things that can ever happen to you. Most of them even believe that divorce is, in all angles, ugly. However, no matter how painful it is or how messy it may be for some circumstances, it also brings out five very crucial and positive things. This only means that even at the face of immense loss, <strong>you must take that as an opportunity to learn big time.</strong></p>
<p>For some, divorce can bring out the worst in them. Some people can be irrational, paranoid, greedy, sadistic and even physically brutal. Well that is no puzzle. Divorce speaks of betrayal and loss more than anything. It is also the breaking of a very important promise/ contract. But along with this experience, you also <strong>get to gain 5 positive things out of divorce.</strong> And here they are:</p>
<p><strong>Divorce Support &#8211; The Silver Lining:</strong></p>
<ol>
<li><strong>More      time in your hands.</strong> A lot of people say that when      you get divorced, you suddenly feel like you have a lot of time in your      hands. Gone are the days when you had to wake up early to cook for someone      or the times when you’d always had to subject your walks to someone else’s      schedule. Now that you are single (yes, bask in the glory of this      once-alien word) you can have the full call to your daily itinerary. Use      it to your advantage and use it to become productive. Powder with a lot of      positive thinking.</li>
<li>As an      offshoot of having more time in your hands, you will also <strong>realize that post divorce is a good      time to finally get over the things which you were once afraid of when you      were married. </strong>No we’re not talking about anything illegal here, but      maybe things which were “out-of-character” for people who are married and      keep a household. Now you can go to the places that you meant to visit,      take lessons for the classes that you’ve been dying to go to, etc.</li>
<li>Another      good thing about getting a divorce      is that afterward, you will get to <strong>learn      how powerful forgiveness is.</strong> We all know that forgiveness is one of      the most difficult gifts to give. But when you undergo such a wounding      experience as a divorce, you will be forced to accept, forgive and let go.      This is good because these virtues will be helpful in your day-to-day      people-mingling.</li>
<li><strong>Learning      optimism, positive thinking,</strong> is also one      advantage when you’re getting a divorce. At the end of the day, when you feel      like the world just closed in on you and when you felt like you’ve lost      everything that you’ve worked so hard for and cherished, it’s easy to feel      like such a big loser. However, after that, you will also realize that      there’s no use sulking. You have to get out there and start rebuilding      your life again! By then you will know that one of the most powerful      things in this life redemption is optimism.</li>
<li>Lastly, you      must remember that the decision of getting a divorce does not happen in a      wink. Not even overnight. Usually, it is a collection of past issues which      never get into a conclusive agreement. It can also be a repertoire of      lies, excuses and various attempts in hurting each other (when it turns      REALLY ugly). <strong>When you finally got      a divorce, that will be the time when you put a stop to all of these      uncertainties and hurt.</strong> You are now officially your own person. So      when you let go of those things, this paves way for a positive renewal. No      nonsense, no bullshit. Nobody deserves to stay in a relationship and ends      up getting hurt all the time.</li>
</ol>
<p>Don’t fret if people equate divorcee to a difficult life. The truth is, with these 5 silver linings, you can be much stronger than most people.</p>
<p><a class="a2a_dd addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save?linkurl=http%3A%2F%2Fdivorcesupportandadvice.com%2Fdivorce-advice-the-silver-lining-in-divorce&amp;linkname=Divorce%20Advice%3A%20The%20Silver%20Lining%20in%20Divorce%3F"><img src="http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_171_16.png" width="171" height="16" alt="Share/Bookmark"/></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-advice-the-silver-lining-in-divorce/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Divorce Advice: Finding the Right Divorce Lawyer</title>
		<link>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/finding-the-right-divorce-lawyer</link>
		<comments>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/finding-the-right-divorce-lawyer#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 12 Jun 2010 14:03:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Amelie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Before Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Filing For Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Getting A Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce support]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce Attorney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[find a divorce lawyer]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/?p=194</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[One of the most important pieces of divorce advice that you could really take to heart is to take time to find the right divorce lawyer.
No one feels comfortable airing out their dirty laundry in public. No one feels comfortable talking about their private life for everyone to hear. People who go through the process [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p>One of the most important pieces of <strong>divorce advice</strong> that you could really take to heart is to take time to find the right <strong>divorce lawyer</strong>.</p>
<p>No one feels comfortable airing out their dirty laundry in public. No one feels comfortable talking about their private life for everyone to hear. People who go through the process of divorce obviously do not appreciate all the whole process of it all, and would actually want to end things as soon as possible. This is why people who through the process of divorce must find a divorce lawyer who can give them what they want and are sensitive to their needs. Unfortunately, some lawyers have been in the game for so long that they forget how sensitive the issue is for most people, especially people who are undergoing a divorce for the first time. This is why, it is very important to find a divorce lawyer with the right attitude and perception of your case.</p>
<p>Before you go out and look for a divorce lawyer, you must ask yourself several questions. You must also ensure that you get all your information right, and do not assume that you will be needing a lawyer right away. Remember that in most states, especially in states with “no-fault”, an adversarial legal process is not needed. <strong>You may get a mediator instead.</strong> However, if you really feel the need to get a divorce attorney, here are some helpful tips to help you find a divorce lawyer.</p>
<p>First of all, <strong>get to know your divorce attorney</strong>. Ask questions about how he is and how he works. Make sure that you are involving yourself with a divorce attorney that is known to be racist or discriminatory. And ensure that the lawyer you are hiring fits your needs and understand what you want to get out of this whole process. Therefore, even before scouting for a divorce attorney, <strong>you must ask yourself what kind of lawyer you would actually want </strong>to represent you. Do you want somebody aggressive? Do you want somebody who is willing to settle? Do you want somebody who will strive to give you everything you ask for from the divorce? Or do you prefer someone who can help you with the paperwork? These are all very important questions that you must answer even before scouting for the attorney to hire.</p>
<p>It also helps that you <strong>become familiar with the divorce laws in your state</strong> so you would know if your lawyer is giving you information that can truly be backed-up by law. It is good to <strong>know whether your divorce lawyer bases his ideas on the law itself or in past decisions.</strong> Or, if he simply ‘thinks’ that is the right thing to do, or he ‘guesses’ how a certain scenario plays out.</p>
<p>To help you pick your new divorce attorney, you may <strong>ask your friends and family for referrals. </strong>Ask how the attorney treated them as clients and how the case turned out. If you do not know of anyone who had to hire a divorce attorney, then you may call your local bar association. They often have referrals ready.</p>
<p>Another good tip is to narrow down your probable lawyers to three. Do not find one and stick to him. Talk to several different lawyers and do not stop looking until you find at least three really good candidates.<strong> </strong>Once you have narrowed your choices down to three, you may start asking them more important questions. Ask your possible lawyers about how long they think the process will take and how much it will cost you. You must also ask him what he thinks about the whole process of getting a divorce and how he thinks it will work out for you. However, <strong>make sure that you do not use your lawyer as a therapist </strong>because, first of all, he is not exactly qualified to do that and secondly, it will cost you so much more as compared to going to an actual therapist. So save it for the shrink, and talk to your lawyer about the divorce in legal terms.</p>
<p>Basically, the <strong>divorce advice</strong> from this article can be summed up by saying<strong>, </strong>get to know your<strong> divorce lawyer</strong> and understand how he works. Make sure, also, that he understand exactly what you want from the divorce.</p>
<p><a class="a2a_dd addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save?linkurl=http%3A%2F%2Fdivorcesupportandadvice.com%2Ffinding-the-right-divorce-lawyer&amp;linkname=Divorce%20Advice%3A%20Finding%20the%20Right%20Divorce%20Lawyer"><img src="http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_171_16.png" width="171" height="16" alt="Share/Bookmark"/></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/finding-the-right-divorce-lawyer/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Divorce Support: Break Your Bad Love Trends</title>
		<link>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-support-break-your-bad-love-trends</link>
		<comments>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-support-break-your-bad-love-trends#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Jun 2010 19:12:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Amelie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[After Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce support]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[free divorce advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship advice]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/?p=183</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Marriage is a very tough set up. People that are currently in marriages are somehow expected by society to move as one. People expect married couple to have the same opinions and like the same things. Married couples are also expected to be one homogenous union. Unfortunately, this is hardly the case in most relationships [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p>Marriage is a very tough set up. People that are currently in marriages are somehow expected by society to move as one. People expect married couple to have the same opinions and like the same things. Married couples are also expected to be one homogenous union. Unfortunately, this is hardly the case in most relationships nowadays as <strong>both members of the partnership strive to have and keep their own identity.</strong></p>
<p>Gone are the days when women (or men for that matter) would allow for their partner to take over their lives and leave them in the back seat. Most people would want to spread their wings while being married and possibly being a parent, and they would want the support from their spouse. As we all know, this is not always the case, and this is one of the reasons why people often end up getting a divorce. Of course, there are other reasons, like psychological incapacity, cheating or getting involved with other people, falling out of love with your partner, or simply learning how to despise your partner over the years. All of these are valid reasons why a person would want to get divorced with his or her current partner. However<strong>, </strong>divorce is not such an easy process.</p>
<p>The process of getting a divorce is very tasking as it involves a lot of money, energy, and effort. Also, you will be surprised that so much people will offer you free divorce advice, even if they are not solicited. This sometimes adds confusion to the already confusing process (unless of course you get your advice from a reputable source). Also, some divorces (or people who are currently going through the process of getting a divorce) start to doubt themselves and actually have lower levels of self esteem. This is a very good reason why more and more people who are going through the process of divorce should <strong>get some free divorce advice from people who actually know what it is like to be in their shoes.</strong></p>
<p>Some people start asking about how they are in the eyes of the opposite sex. They start wondering what they could have done to deserve a divorce. They start doubting the way they love and express love and start doubting their ability to love and be loved. Some people also doubt if they are still attractive to the opposite sex, or if they will be able to date again. They ask for some relationship advice from people close to them, but at the end of the day they realize that their hearts just do not feel the same any more. But what they do not realize is that <strong>these problems are all self made and are all effects of a twisted perception of the process of divorce </strong>and the problems that got them to that place.</p>
<p>One should realize that they should stop asking themselves what is wrong with them and <strong>start asking how they could start moving on</strong>, and why have not they started moving on yet. If you are going through a divorce right now or have just gone through one, you <strong>should start telling yourself that there is life after divorce</strong>.</p>
<p>Although there is a huge possibility that you are to blame for your past failed marriage, this does not mean you are solely to blame. In fact, when it all comes down to it, marriages fail due to one thing: incompatibility. If you ask any relationship advice from any expert, they will tell you that people who are compatible, that is people who understand each other and give way to the other, are most likely to spend the rest of their lives together. So maybe, <strong>this is not entirely your fault.</strong> Maybe, you just got the wrong relationship advice when you were still married? Maybe, you simply were not meant for each other? These are all possible reasons why your marriage did not work out, so <strong>stop blaming yourself about everything </strong>that happened.</p>
<p>What you should do is start breaking the trends you have set for yourself as a romantic partner. If you used to go for the looks or for power, this time, why not try looking for someone with a little more heart? Why not break your type and date anybody that comes your way, not because you are desperate for a date, but because <strong>you are willing to give everyone a chance.</strong> Start breaking your love trends and you just might find yourself with a new lover in hand.</p>
<p>The best divorce support or divorce advice you could receive is to learn from your mistakes and walk into your better, brighter future.</p>
<p><a class="a2a_dd addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save?linkurl=http%3A%2F%2Fdivorcesupportandadvice.com%2Fdivorce-support-break-your-bad-love-trends&amp;linkname=Divorce%20Support%3A%20Break%20Your%20Bad%20Love%20Trends"><img src="http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_171_16.png" width="171" height="16" alt="Share/Bookmark"/></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-support-break-your-bad-love-trends/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Divorce Support &#8211; Finding The Right Support After Divorce Is Crucial</title>
		<link>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-support</link>
		<comments>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-support#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 24 May 2010 11:50:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Divorce Support</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[After Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce support]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce support group]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/?p=173</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Finding the right divorce support can be the difference between healing wholly and quickly and struggling for years with the emotional consequences of divorce.
Getting a divorce is probably one of the biggest decisions that you  will ever make in your life. First of all it’s hard to imagine yourself  being alone again specially [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p>Finding the right <strong>divorce support</strong> can be the difference between healing wholly and quickly and struggling for years with the emotional consequences of divorce.</p>
<p>Getting a divorce is probably one of the biggest decisions that you  will ever make in your life. First of all it’s hard to imagine yourself  being alone again specially if you’ve lived with someone for too long  now. Secondly, because you’ve been used to living with a partner you  tend to ask a lot of questions like how you are supposed to move  forward with your life<strong> </strong>since it’s hard to imagine that the person  that you’ve build your world around to and planned your future with  isn’t going to be in the picture already.</p>
<p>For the first few months it will be really hard on both of you, but  with the right divorce support from your friends, relatives and even  professionals, getting yourself aligned again with the future  wouldn’t be so difficult.</p>
<p>One thing that you should consider to cope with what you’re  experiencing right now is to find a professional <strong>divorce support</strong> counselor or forum<strong>.</strong> People  tend not to ask for divorce advice or divorce support from professionals  like a qualified therapist is because they think that divorce is a very  personal matter to share with other people.</p>
<p>This is wrong because without avenues to vent out your emotions, what  happens is that tends to build up inside of you and may lead to stress,  aggravation of fears and in worst cases mental disorders. A  psychotherapist is an emphatic listener and will provide opportunities  for everyone to vent out deep seated emotions that cannot be expressed  freely elsewhere. Aside from that a psychotherapist and counseling  perhaps could give you divorce advice on managing stress, addressing  your fears as well as answering those questions that you have after  breaking up with your partner.</p>
<p>Great divorce advice and support in some instances come from the most  unexpected places therefore it’s important that you talk with your  family and friends about your present condition. If there are things  that bother you then you could try and talk about it with your friends  or family. Your family members will always be there for you through  thick and thin and will be willing to listen to all your sentiments  without prejudice. If for some reason they aren’t able to give you the  best advice, a crying shoulder or a personal sound board is all you need  to make you feel better.</p>
<p>Your friends who may have prior experience with breaking up may also  give you excellent divorce advice. Talking to them may give you  insights about their past experience and may help you find ways in  order to cope up with all that’s happening to you right now. Because of  your common experience, you tend to become more open to what you really  feel so you get to talk freely about the experience. This is a great  start to finally letting go of all the pain that you’re experiencing.</p>
<p>Aside from trying to talk it all out, the best thing that you could  probably do to cope with all the emotional stress that you’re  experiencing is to divert your attention on other things. Go out  of the world again, don’t lock yourself up in your room and feel bad  about yourself. The best way to cope doesn’t rely on all the divorce  support available but it all boils down to how you try<strong> </strong>to help  yourself rise up from that steep fall.<strong> </strong>At the end of the day, you’d  still want the best for yourself in all areas in life—health, home life,  career, etc.</p>
<p>This site is an interactive forum where you can share your feelings, learn from others, and even provide advice to those who may benefit from your wisdom. We are happy you are here with us as finding this <strong>divorce support </strong>forum has been a healing touchstone for many.</p>
<p><a class="a2a_dd addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save?linkurl=http%3A%2F%2Fdivorcesupportandadvice.com%2Fdivorce-support&amp;linkname=Divorce%20Support%20%26%238211%3B%20Finding%20The%20Right%20Support%20After%20Divorce%20Is%20Crucial"><img src="http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_171_16.png" width="171" height="16" alt="Share/Bookmark"/></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/divorce-support/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Who Are You Without Your Ex?</title>
		<link>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/who-are-you-without-your-ex</link>
		<comments>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/who-are-you-without-your-ex#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 May 2010 14:24:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Amelie</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[After Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coping with divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce support]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/?p=140</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[They say having a lover is like having a totally different job, something that demands a lot of time, attention, effort and understanding. But of course having an actual human being to tend to instead of a computer or papers to fill out is different; after all, when it’s a human being you’re dealing with, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p>They say having a lover is like having a totally different job, something that demands a lot of time, attention, effort and understanding. But of course having an actual human being to tend to instead of a computer or papers to fill out is different; after all, when it’s a human being you’re dealing with, you are also <strong>subject to the possible responses of that human being</strong>. So then, lo and behold—a lover. Someone who eats up a lot of your time and someone whose identity can be easily branded on you. (Two hearts beating as one, does this sound familiar?)</p>
<p>Basic psychology tells us that frequent exposure to a stimulus leads us to adopt some of the characteristics of that stimulus. This is why most couples tend to rub off each other’s facial and verbal expressions, responses and even the manner of dressing towards one another. This is also why most families share the same values and principles—they live in the same home, share the same environment, and hence, the same stimuli.</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-152" title="after_divorce_life" src="http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/files/2010/05/after_divorce_life.jpg" alt="" width="441" height="320" />Whenever we spend a lot of time with a lover (especially with a long term one) and then we lose contact with that lover abruptly, we are<strong> shaken away from our comfort zone</strong>. Usually we even built our worlds around our lovers and then wham! We break up! What happens after? How will we spend the rest of our days now? Worse, what shall we do with a disrespected marriage contract and the all the threats that come during and after divorce? What about divorce support? Does that still exist? You need advice, fast!</p>
<p><strong>The Retreat</strong></p>
<p>When the reality of the break up finally sinks in, you will think about the things that you could have done and you will be able to do now that there’s a big void in your life after the divorce. At this point, all you will feel will be mostly discomfort, sadness and a constant denial. You may still lie to your support group about what really happened, you may still spend time crying over “Notting Hill” on your bedroom and rereading your lover’s text messages but this is just normal. Friends and family will flood you with pieces of advice. You need this so you can force yourself to be strong despite what happened. Don’t worry; what you feel is just the stress that comes with the unfamiliarity of the day-to-day itinerary.</p>
<p><strong>The Release</strong></p>
<p>After a few days of sorrow, you will slowly feel like your chest doesn’t hurt as much anymore; and you won’t be that tempted to check on your phone every now and then or try to daydream about your happy days. At this point, you are most willing to over-write a whole new identity now that you’re most likely a clean slate.</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>The Rebuilding</strong></p>
<p>After you’ve rested your case, you will start to live your life once again, catch up on the things that you’ve missed when you had a lover and try to look better than you did when the divorce was still fresh. At this point, negative bashings about your past relationship/s will be taken (by you) lightly or won’t even be big concerns anymore.</p>
<p>We’ve heard of a lot of people who admit to have “missed out” on their previous hobbies, on their family, friends and even the usual me-time when they went full time on love and romance. You can now focus on your career; and the other things which make up the real you, your passions, your goals, and your identity. This is the time when you will start regaining self esteem and may even bounce back on the singles market as a hotter number. Who you are without your ex might just be better.</p>
<p><strong>The Redemption</strong></p>
<p>This is the time when you have fully recovered…and its payback time. Congratulations to the new you!</p>
<p><a class="a2a_dd addtoany_share_save" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save?linkurl=http%3A%2F%2Fdivorcesupportandadvice.com%2Fwho-are-you-without-your-ex&amp;linkname=Who%20Are%20You%20Without%20Your%20Ex%3F"><img src="http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/wp-content/plugins/add-to-any/share_save_171_16.png" width="171" height="16" alt="Share/Bookmark"/></a></p>]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://divorcesupportandadvice.com/who-are-you-without-your-ex/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>

